"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."
1 Thesselonians 5:23-24
Five years ago I woke up and decided that I was done with God.
I was done with the kind of Christianity that I thought I was expected to live. After many years of trial and error I had finally realized that I wasn't able to live up to God's standards and instead of turning from the law to the gospel, I turned off...completely.
It was the most horrid year of my life.
I still looked like a Christian from the outside but the inside was in utter rebellion and I was suffering the painful consequences of disobedience over and over again.
As I look back on that year, yes an entire year, there are many beautiful gifts that I came away with. I learned that:
-Life is wickedly horrible on my own.
-God pursues His children and never gives up until He catches them.
-God works by changing me and growing my faith even when I am not actively seeking to be obedient.
I believe that this time in my life has cemented the gospel in my heart through the constant reminder that God remained faithful even when I wasn't. I carry this truth with me into every thing that I do. And with that I have come to understand that being a Christian is not about what I do for God but about what He has done for me.
You see, I came out the other side of that year with a hunger and desire for the One who had not just put up with me but actively pursued me. As much as I thought I was running from Him, I was never once out of His reach.
When I was tired of trying to get away I fell into His outstretched arms exhausted and broken. It was then that I began to understand grace.
Because of my hurt and my brokenness I had nothing left to bring to Him. You see, this is what he wanted from me in the first place...nothing.
"Nothing in my arms I bring, simply to thy cross I cling."
And when it was all said and done, when every last piece of me was ripped from my tightly clenched fists, I wanted nothing but Him. I needed Christ so badly. I wanted to walk hand in hand with the one who had forgiven so much. I wanted to obey. I desired to serve. I wanted to love the way I had been loved.
I was changed from the core even though I had not actively sought after change.
I was changed from the core even though I had not actively sought after change.
You see, now when I think about sanctification (Christian growth) I can see how much of it doesn't depend on me. He is changing me whether I like it or not. He changed me that year. All because I saw and experienced how incredibly deep His love for me was, and still is.
It's not my effort that He requires.
All that is required of me is to believe and rest, knowing that when the life saving words "It is finished" were spoken on the cross, they were meant for me. It was a call to rest and freedom from condemnation, not a call to get to work.
All that is required of me is to believe and rest, knowing that when the life saving words "It is finished" were spoken on the cross, they were meant for me. It was a call to rest and freedom from condemnation, not a call to get to work.
It is foolishness to think that we can change ourselves, that if we could just work our way down the list of Christian duties then we would be a different person.
Read your bible, pray, feed the poor...please! But know that it is by Christ and Christ alone that our lives are changed. It is by soaking in the love poured out on the cross that will motivate you into true service. It is knowing that if you don't obey Him, He still loves you. And that will fuel your desire for obedience.
It is God who saves, God who sanctifies and God who will hold onto us until that last day.
"Never once did we ever walk alone,
Never once did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God, you are faithful!"
-Matt Redman
1 comment:
Amen! Thanks for sharing this!
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